Tag Archives: Adulting

Self doubt runs rampant…

11870936_1051237054900441_2882242274011882895_n

 

So, lately I have been having some serious self doubts about myself and my abilities. All my abilities…as a parent, grandparent, partner, writer, artist…

 

It started in November. It just started as a small inkling behind the eyes…a small thought here and there. A doubt in judgement here and there, and it just escalated.

 

Then I was sitting here the night before last working on something and I thought…should I continue to even try? My book is far from being as perfect as I want it. My writing doesn’t feel as smooth anymore. I have lost many followers and readers.

 

Should I keep my Zoe Ambler persona, all the time and work. Should I just let it go? Should I refocus elsewhere?

 

I am feeling very inadequate of late. Its a nagging feeling that is bringing me down more and more. I can attribute some of it to the holiday season. I always get a little depressed this time of year, no matter how well things are going.

 

However, I dont seem very productive. Mind you, we are all busy this time of year. This is a big book time. Here I am with the promise of a new book, yet not producing the final product.

 

I have family things going on that I was not prepared for.

 

I just have to question myself on why I keep up with things when I seem to be failing and falling behind. Am I disappointing anyone? The answer to that may leave me in tears.

 

I had a dream. I have talent. I am squandering it, I know. I am just not finding it within myself to chase these things. I feel so very let down.

 

Perhaps after the holidays I will feel better…if not, some hard decisions will have to be made.

 

Take care, my sweets~

 

 

 

 


Adulting

97

Yes, today was a success. I adulted perfectly, even after having a few beers to loosen me up.

The dinner was great. A restaurant I have never been to, but then, from what I hear its only been open a month or so. I was surprised it wasnt more crowded, but then again, here in the South the big Sunday dinner cooked by Momma’s and NaNa’s still reigns supreme.

The restaurant was like any other steak house these days. Peanuts that you just shell and chuck on the floor, big flat screen TVs set up everywhere playing all the sports.

The food was beyond my expectations however. I had beef tips, medium rare, with mushrooms and onion in gravy with seasoned rice and buttered corn. I also tossed in a few gator jalapeno bites with that. Sassy.

The Corona Extra was nice and cold, my limes fat and my salt…well…salty.

My dinner company was great and we all had a good time.

I since I looked like a girl today, I snapped some pictures of myself…I need to update my pages on here, since Zoe is no longer the lovely Purple Tressed Zombie Goddess that I once was.

My niece, by the way, told me I now look like Cruella Deville.

~sighs~

zoeshorthair2 zoeshorthair3

I LOOK HORRIBLE WITH SHORT HAIR!!! ~wails and snots everywhere.~

Well, tonight is a shorty, because I have to actually go to bed with the help of some Ambien. I get my lift kit put opn my truck tomorrow. ~grins with glee~

See you later, my darlings!

zoeshorthair

PS: Which pic should I use on my static pages??


%d bloggers like this: