Tag Archives: Adulting

Musings on NaNoWriMo

November is quite a ways off, I know, but usually this time of year I start my coordination with the library to host my National Novel Writing Month events.

Last years turn out was dismal. As was the year before. When I first took the role of Municipal Liaison for my region, plenty of people came to the library write-ins. It was great. We talked, wrote, had pizza parties. I even met with people outside of the events, at my local coffee shop, to keep the spirit of the event going, and helping those people who love writing motivated. It breaks my heart that for the past two years the numbers have plummeted.

The library I host at is a good 45 minutes away. Its a great library, and they are enthusiastic about clearing a community room for the event to be hosted in, and provide things like coffee and whatnot.

Outside of the gas and snacks I’ve provided in the past, I also try to bolster a little competition by offering a prize pack to the highest word count among those who attend the write ins. These packs are basically gift bags with books on writing and unique coffee mugs. Things like that.

Last year I got really depressed after the event due to its poor turn out. And since then, I have been pondering what to do.

I am considering that this year, rather than work so hard on a project that no one attends, I will forgo the event at the library and host personal write-ins at the local coffee shop for those who do want someone to sit with. I know the library will be disappointed.

This may sound terrible, but one thing that does make me feel a little as if ‘its not me’, is the fact that NaNoWriMo as a whole, I mean world wide, seems to have been hit with this decline. The organization has not been receiving the donations needed to support their own events. They have cancelled a yearly event meant for we Municipal Liaisons. They aren’t reaching donation goals. Its sad, because the idea behind NaNo is great.

So, even though I have pretty much made up my mind about what I will do with the event this year, I am dragging my feet on contacting my library on it.

Ugh. Adulting is hard.

 

 

 


Self doubt runs rampant…

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So, lately I have been having some serious self doubts about myself and my abilities. All my abilities…as a parent, grandparent, partner, writer, artist…

 

It started in November. It just started as a small inkling behind the eyes…a small thought here and there. A doubt in judgement here and there, and it just escalated.

 

Then I was sitting here the night before last working on something and I thought…should I continue to even try? My book is far from being as perfect as I want it. My writing doesn’t feel as smooth anymore. I have lost many followers and readers.

 

Should I keep my Zoe Ambler persona, all the time and work. Should I just let it go? Should I refocus elsewhere?

 

I am feeling very inadequate of late. Its a nagging feeling that is bringing me down more and more. I can attribute some of it to the holiday season. I always get a little depressed this time of year, no matter how well things are going.

 

However, I dont seem very productive. Mind you, we are all busy this time of year. This is a big book time. Here I am with the promise of a new book, yet not producing the final product.

 

I have family things going on that I was not prepared for.

 

I just have to question myself on why I keep up with things when I seem to be failing and falling behind. Am I disappointing anyone? The answer to that may leave me in tears.

 

I had a dream. I have talent. I am squandering it, I know. I am just not finding it within myself to chase these things. I feel so very let down.

 

Perhaps after the holidays I will feel better…if not, some hard decisions will have to be made.

 

Take care, my sweets~

 

 

 

 


Adulting

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Yes, today was a success. I adulted perfectly, even after having a few beers to loosen me up.

The dinner was great. A restaurant I have never been to, but then, from what I hear its only been open a month or so. I was surprised it wasnt more crowded, but then again, here in the South the big Sunday dinner cooked by Momma’s and NaNa’s still reigns supreme.

The restaurant was like any other steak house these days. Peanuts that you just shell and chuck on the floor, big flat screen TVs set up everywhere playing all the sports.

The food was beyond my expectations however. I had beef tips, medium rare, with mushrooms and onion in gravy with seasoned rice and buttered corn. I also tossed in a few gator jalapeno bites with that. Sassy.

The Corona Extra was nice and cold, my limes fat and my salt…well…salty.

My dinner company was great and we all had a good time.

I since I looked like a girl today, I snapped some pictures of myself…I need to update my pages on here, since Zoe is no longer the lovely Purple Tressed Zombie Goddess that I once was.

My niece, by the way, told me I now look like Cruella Deville.

~sighs~

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I LOOK HORRIBLE WITH SHORT HAIR!!! ~wails and snots everywhere.~

Well, tonight is a shorty, because I have to actually go to bed with the help of some Ambien. I get my lift kit put opn my truck tomorrow. ~grins with glee~

See you later, my darlings!

zoeshorthair

PS: Which pic should I use on my static pages??


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