So, today I mustered up a bit of strength to deal with commemorating ChesterAnn. I had gotten some various sized pictures printed out of her right after her death, because I wasnt sure if we were going to get an urn that accomodated a picture or not. Of course, I found and fell in love with the cat shaped white marbled urn.
So, I finally sat down on the floor with all these pictures and frames. I started the project and pretty much started blubbering and snotting. Then I blubbered and snotted more because I bought a few wrong sized frames and I felt I NEEDED to get this project done. So, I calmed myself, waited for the redness to leave my face, and went to the store for the appropriate sized frames that I needed.
I got home and went to work.
Then came the really hard part.
The Funeral Home had given me two plaster molds of ChesterAnns paw prints, and a lock of her white fur from her body and the dark hair from her tail.
My daughter had given me the suggestion of placing them in a shadowbox. Damn, my kid is smart.
I purchased a shadowbox and black foam boarding about a week ago. The plaster casts hadnt set all the way, but now they were ready.
And I felt I was ready.
I fixed the paw print molds, tied up the fur snippets in a bow, and added one of her most favoritest toys. I also placed her collar at the bottom.
I think they turned out nicely. Its a bit weighty, so I’m not going to hang it on the wall. I’m going to clear out the cubby above me on my desk next to the cubby with her urn and place a picture of her beside it. I think it will be lovely.
Man, I miss her.
Little Man Jeffrey, whom I have started screeching “Jeffrey H Christ!!!” at lately has been a little booger. He isnt a bad boy, its just the whole kitten thing. Into everything, cant find him and he gives you little mini heart attacks. When he wants cuddles time though, he is simply a Little Sir.
I doubt I will get my own cat again anytime soon, if at all. This was and is way too hard on me. I honestly am not coping well.
I got a self help book on unexpected loss and grieving.
It is not self helping me.